The Waughbag Report: LMS: Punisher vs. Boba Fett!

[JonWahizzle]

Marvel has had a lot of announcements this weekend from WonderCon. A vast majority of them have been for digital-only material, yet there was one notable print announcement: This July, Frank Castle goes to SPACE.

Yep, that’s right; The Punisher is taking to the cosmos. Who’s he going to fight? Martians? Jawas? Xenmorphs? Who knows, but this is leading me to start up something that I have wanted to do for a while, and thanks to the new Jetpack online forums, I can. Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the first “Last Man Standing” column!

Here’s the gist: I’ll have two combatants, and after coming up with a short scenario, it will fall on you, the members of the Jetpack community to vote on the forums for who you think will win. Voting will last until the following Sunday, and I’ll announce the victor in the next week’s column. So, in honor of Punisher strapping’ on an astronaut suit, I present to you this:

THE PUNISHER vs. BOBA FETT

Frank Castle wakes up on a cold, concrete slab of a bed. The last thing he remembers is trailing a gang of human traffickers on the New York City docks, when a tranquilizer hit him from behind. Usually no one gets the drop on him, so Castle knows that whoever drugged him and is now transporting him means business. Stepping up from the slab bunk, he walks over to the bars in his small holding cell and easily picks the lock. Standing outside of the cell, he takes a moment to assess his surroundings.

This isn’t any ordinary mob hideout, he thinks. And there’s no way someone would make their holding cells that easy to break out of.

Suddenly a figure appears in front of him, wearing a strange helmet and sporting something like a rocket pack on his back.

“I was told you were good, but wanted to see for myself. “ The figure says. “Apparently there’s a lot of people who would pay good money for you dead. I’m here to collect.”

Frank goes for his handgun, but finds his holster empty.

“Just because I let you out of your cell doesn’t mean I’d let you keep your weapons.” The figure says. “And by the way, the name’s Boba Fett, and I’m the last person you’ll see.”

So Jetpack faithful, who’s going to win? Frank Castle, The Punisher, or Boba Fett, the most feared bounty hunter in the galaxy? (NOTE: The Punisher for this round is the same from Garth Ennis’ Punisher: MAX, as he is the most ruthless version of the character I have ever read) Sound off right NOW!

[jonnyMAGNUM]

Wow ... that's actually a tougher choice than I had thought. At first I was going with Boba Fett, but Castle would outsmart him any day. But Fett has the advantage with the advance on technology, especially Punisher being in his universe. So I'm going with Boba.

P.S. - Punisher in space is almost as lame sound as Franken-Castle was ... That's just my opinion.

[JyndTactica]

Boba Fett, duh.

[JyndTactica]

Wow ... that's actually a tougher choice than I had thought. At first I was going with Boba Fett, but Castle would outsmart him any day. But Fett has the advantage with the advance on technology, especially Punisher being in his universe. So I'm going with Boba.

P.S. - Punisher in space is almost as lame sound as Franken-Castle was ... That's just my opinion.

are you sure it's in SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE. If Games Workshop and Rovio have taught me anything, is that it's better in SPAAAAAAAAAAAACE.

[TheRickDunton]

It's not even a fight. Know why it's not a fight? Because Boba Fett is the most overrated pansy in any galaxy. Punisher on screen kills. Pick a movie. I can't tell you how many. A lot. Boba Fett kills. Goose egg. He got taken out when a blind guy bumped into him. He died from falling into a hole. What's the last thing a guy with a jetpack should die from? Falling in to a freaking hole! And don't give me the "Well in the expanded universe blah blah." He's dead. He is digesting in sarlac shame and embarrassment forever. Punisher.

Jar Jar killed more s#!t than Boba Fett.

[RichofclanJetpack]

Jon it seems like you have set this up to give Boba Fett the upper hand. Punisher has no weapons? Against a guy in full space armor who has a jetpack, helmet, and 600 weapons built into his suit? Esssssh man!

But I still give it to Frank. He would charge Fett and probably get hit with some projectile on his way in, most likely a shot that would kill most men, but he'd keep coming. Blood draining out of him, he'd take Boba Fett down and fight as dirty as hell, breaking fingers, biting, grappling his way in, and Fett would be so surprised by this attack that he wouldn't know what to do. The Jetpack and all his ranged weapons would do him no good. Frank would find his helmet release, pop the top off of that can, dig out one of his eyes, and lock him into a choke until Fett's lifeless body went limp.
Then he would roll over and pass out, hoping finally for deaths embrace.

But it wouldn't happen.
He'd wake up in the medical bay of some ship, healed from his wounds, feeling better than ever.
He'd pretend to be asleep and overhear stories of Darth Vader and the rest of the villains in the Sith and the Empire.
And Frank Castle would know his mission was not done...


BOOM. See you later, Sith Scum.

[JonWahizzle]

Rich, that was exactly what I was hoping someone would write.

[JonWahizzle]

Alright that's it! Votings over, and we have......A TIE??!?!?!?! Looks like we're gonna have a rematch in the near future.