It’s that time of year again.
The time where you get to save big money and we ask you to donate to our food and toy drive. Times are tough so we are not requiring donations but we sure would like some and if you are generous, and In The Know, your generosity will be rewarded.
They start on 11/26 and run through 12/24 – Make sure you are in the know
You know us! We suck at business. Every year we hit the holidays hard with crazy discounts for you.
It’s our time to treat you right (unlike the rest of the year where we don’t think about you at all).
HOW DO YOU MAXIMIZE YOUR SAVINGS?
It’s simple!
ONE – Get our newsletter.
If you’re reading this, in our newsletter, then you will be in the know. If your reading this on a social media platform head on over to sign-up for the birthday club.
Not only will you be signed up for our newsletter but you’ll get a special gift from us on your birthday.
TWO – Check out our socials to see what deals we might have.
Friend us. Like us (but you really should love us).
THREE – WITHOUT QUESTION OR REMORSE
All deals are only available during their advertised times.
Want to be banned from all deals? Try one of these tried and true LAME ASS excuses.
“I couldn’t find parking”.
“I thought the deal was good today”.
“I ran out of gas”.
“I don’t have my donation”.
“If you don’t give me yesterday’s deal I’ll never shop here again” (Bye bye Karen [or Darren] – we’re equal entitled-gender haters).
There are always restrictions.
Some deals are obvious. Some are tricky. Some require your participation.
FOUR – Follow the instruction to a “T”.
If there’s a secret code to use for savings, use it.
If we ask you to sing to Kyle, sing loud and clear.
#1 rule – MAKE YOUR DONATIONS RELEVANT AND SIGNIFICANT
We ask for donations for some of our deals.
Don’t be an asshat when you bring stuff in. It’s really simple.
Anything you donate should be new, unused, in code and NOT SUCK!!!!
Not sucking is key and we truly call you out publicly when you bring in a 25 cent paint set from the dollar store.
Don’t be that guy.
Finally (and most of you never read this far and break these cardinal rules yearly).
- DO NOT CALL AND ASK WHAT THE DEAL IS TODAY – Know one will tell you.
- DO NOT COME IN THE STORE AND ASK WHAT THE DEAL IS.
- These deals are for those of you that support us all the time, not the posers.
- We take care of you for taking care of us but that knowledge is classified.
If you did read this far you are an official winner of a Jetpack No Prize.
Restrictions
** disclaimers, restrictions and the place where you find out you don’t save as much as you want to, you cheap SOB.
JETPACK STORE CREDIT CARDS, COUPONS & CREDIT SLIPS ARE NOT APPLICABLE FOR SALES, but you already knew that.
SALES / SPECIALS / DISCOUNTS / BUY X GET X NEVER APPLY TO, Subscriptions, holds, special orders, the last two weeks of NEW merchandise (see clerk with questions), Magic / Pokemon & Cards (unless otherwise noted), wall back issues (but you can save on wall variants), gift cards purchases or anything we deem sketchy.
You can not combine, stack, match, merge or have threesomes with the discount structures, savings and deals.
You can not purchase more than 1 of any specific item with SALE discounts.
No Tom Foolery. Don’t make us call BS on you and call you out in store and on the inter-webs! If we have to explain this to you then you are thinking about doing it. Just stop.
Cute babies get the highest of high fives! You know I’m looking at you baby.
We are not responsible for typos, mistakes, etc in any sale write up.
ALL SALES ARE FINAL SO MAKE YOUR CHOICES WISELY.
Not sure what something is? Ask a clerk.
DONATIONS
Canned Goods. Non-Perishable Food. Toiletries. Pet Supplies
ALL OF THESE MUST BE IN CODE! Out of code = NO SAVINGS FOR YOU.
Toys must be unwrapped and new. WE CAN NOT ACCEPT PLUSH
WE DO NOT ACCEPT DOLLAR STORE GARBAGE FOR SALE DONATIONS. YOU know what we are talking about.
HERE’S WHAT WE’RE LOOKING FOR THIS YEAR.
Please follow the requests listed here and
? CANNED GOODS. Non-Perishable Food. Please make sure they are in code! CHECK THE DATE / CODE to make sure it’s still acceptable. YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE SALE IF YOU BRING US ANY EXPIRED GOODS – EVEN ONE. Plus we will make fun of you on social media if you bring us expired goods.
? TOYS – must be unwrapped and new. NO PLUSH PLEASE. DO NOT bring us junk from the dollar store expect that you will save less than one dollar during a sale.YOU WILL BE BANNED FROM THE SALE.
? LEGOS – clean loose Lego bricks are the only exception to NEW. Who doesn’t love Legos.
? TOILETRIES – In code and sealed.
? SOCKS – Yes – socks
? PET SUPPLIES – food, litter, flea collars, etc (Yes, these also must be in code..
THE IMPORTANT DONATIONS RULE – You know what sucks? When someone donates 50 cans of Green Beans? Sure, Green Beans are great for holiday meals but now if it’s the only thing you have. You know what else sucks. A case of Ramen.
If your count is made up of more than 25% of one thing you only get 1/2 credit.
If you donate 20 cans and 10 are Green Beans you get a credit of 5 for the first 5 then 2.5 for the second 5. Yes, it’s a math problem – figure it out or mix up your donations.
Ramen packs get you 1/3 credit across the board.
Please don’t forget our extra important NO SUCK rule. We are saving you money so spend a little and save a lot but be respectful.
NONE OF THE DONATIONS CAN SUCK and SUCK is defined by the Jetpack Staff members. Jetpack Staff earn bonuses for every SUCK donation they report. Try real hard not to suck!
In case you’re wondering, our food and toys are distributed through a local elementary school, via those that know who needs an assist, and directly to people that reach out to us. We also work with other community orgs. Please give as much as you can and we will continue saving you money every holiday season.